We’re asking fans to help decide which web writers will rep best at this year’s Virtual Indy 500 competition (Read more about the competition here). Any web writer ready to stake their claim will be put in front of our esteemed panel of sharp, clever, witty and good-looking judges (A.K.A. – you!).
So take a look at this entrant and leave your comments and likes here or hit us @INDYCAR with a tweet if you think Jeff Olson will provide fans with the best Virtual Indy 500 coverage this May and keep your eyes peeled for information on how fans can win a seat to race against up to three INDYCAR drivers at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway next month!
In case you haven’t heard, the journalists who cover IndyCar racing have been asked to provide reasons why they should be included in a virtual Indy 500 – an iracing.com simulation of the race – against fellow journalists on Carb Day. Since I can’t resist the opportunity to slam a blogger into a cartoon wall, I’ve decided to go for it. So here, written in crayon while wearing pajamas, are the top 10 reasons I should be included in the virtual 500:
10) I once rode a shopping cart into shrubbery. On purpose.
9) I once flipped a golf cart. Not on purpose.
8.) I’ll quit early to continue my never-ending search for free buffets.
7) I got so good at Grand Theft Auto that my ex-wife banned me from playing it. Notice I said “ex.”
6) Yellow shirts know me as “HEYSLOWDOWNYOUIDIOT!”
5) My sitting skills are pretty much perfected.
4) I am fully insured.
3) I promise to take out more cars on starts and restarts than Helio could ever imagine. I am a virtual bowling ball, my friend.
2) Among the many odd jobs I’ve held are cab driver and armored truck driver. Seriously. That’s gotta count for something.
And finally, the No. 1 reason to invite me:
1) I can out-swear Danica any day of the week.